Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Jimmy Jokers

They just won't send me my requested items. So I'll just keep asking...

Email #3 - dated 23 January, 2013

-----Original Message-----
From: Hartman, Kevin C. SFC 115th MPAD MSC NCOIC
Sent: Wednesday, January 23, 2013 2:47 PM
To: 'Grupanya'
Subject: RE: (U//FOUO) Jimmy Joker Plus'ta cift kisilik serpme kahvalti 26 TL / 'Hayyam' oyununa giris 12,5 TL

UNCLASSIFIED//FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY

Dearest Grupanya,

You have truly peaked my interest with your latest offer of Jimmy Jokers. I've inquired before for other items in your inventory with no response. Please add 83 Jimmy Jokers to my previous orders so I may Joke my Jimmy. I am now willing to part with 407 recycled 3-D glasses that I found in a dumpster outside a movie theater in Kearney Nebraska. I had 409 but I combined two of them to give myself 6-D vision. It's amazing how much fuller and richer life is in 6-D. This one time, I saw a rainbow three hours before it appeared. At that point I saw it twice and had a double rainbow. This became the life event of my existence. Before this I thought having children or curing cancer would be my life's greatest work, but I now know 6-D is what I was put on this earth to do.

When you ship the Jimmy Jokers, please remember my cardboard allergy and send them in plastic wrap. DO NOT however, use the plastic wrap that has all that static-electricity and sticks to everything. That is one of the most annoying things ever. It's almost as annoying as getting splash back out of a urinal off those enormous Certs mints they put in there to make it smell like minty pee rather than just pee.

So in conclusion, I would like to trade 407 recycled, near-mint condition 3-D glasses for 83 of your Jimmy Jokers wrapped in non-sticky/annoying plastic wrapping.

Thank you

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