Taste of home

Many people keep reaching out and asking what they can send me over here. Honestly, there are few things I need and hate the idea of people spending money on me, but I also know from personal experience that it's also nice sending stuff when I'm not the one deployed. There are also things that, while I don't *need* them, make being away from home more bearable.

So to consolidate a list and provide an address I thought I'd put it all right here for all to see.

First the address:
Kevin Hartman
CJTF-1 PAO / 115 MPAD
TF Defender
APO AE 09354

Best way to send and save is through flat rate boxes from the US Postal Service.


Now the goodies:

#1 - COFFEE!!! (can you tell I had some today?)
This can be tricky. Beggars can't be choosers but we do come from the Northwest and appreciate good coffee. Again, I don't want to dig into charitable pockets, but I thought I'd specify some types of coffee we like.

First there's Stumptown: Hair Bender - the champion of delicious coffee.

Then there's Peet's Coffee, especially the Major Dickason's Blend.

We also enjoy Seattle Mountain Coffee - found at your corner Costco.

And for a limited holiday season, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice coffee is a hot commodity around here.

#2 - Half & Half for my COFFEE!!!
I like to cut my coffee, but the only creamer they have here is flavored, and being that I love the taste of coffee I like non-flavoured creamer.

Here is what people have been sending that I like. There are many brands, but the Land-O-Lakes Mini Moo's have been the staple so far.












#3 - Rice - The San Francisco errr Afghanistan Treat
We make a lot of asian style dishes - to include Sushi Combat Rolls - to improve the food we have here.

Yes... that's right, I said Sushi Combat Rolls.

We have a rice cooker and just need more rice - specifically jasmine rice.













#4 - Sassy Sauces
Again, we love asian dishes and these sauces help make the dish.

Sweet chilli sauce is pretty much the awesomest thing on earth. We love this Mae Ploy type, but again, if there's a different one we won't complain.

Peanut sauce would also be fantastic. I don't really have a specific type but still looked up a link to one nonetheless.







#5 - Coconut Milk
This helps with our curry meals and again, just helps the food over here become more palatable.

It really doesn't matter what brand or type, we just want more of this glorious treat!













#6 - Healthy treats
We have entirely too much candy and sweets over here. I realize they last longer and are cheaper and easier to buy, but my dentist is not going to appreciate it.

Any snacks such as nuts, jerky, or crackers would be fantabulous (you read that correctly - fantabulous).









That's about it.
I'll possibly update this post if anything comes up or if we're getting too much of one thing or another.

Thank you VERY much in advance if you choose to send something our way.

Flashback to flims of my childhood...

We watch a lot of bad movies over here. One of my coworkers commented on our selection of films and said it read like the playlist on TBS. It's all the bad sequels and not the original good versions. That said, what better time to waste on movies I'd never watch otherwise than while I'm stranded in a desert watching the sand and rocks grow? What better first world problem could I have over here?

The other day, I was able to watch a cheesy but great flick from my childhood - The Last Starfighter.

It dawned on me while watching this... they just don't make them like they used to. Sure, the special effects are leaps and bounds advanced, but that innocent yet clever plot is gone.

I sometimes wonder if it's that we're out-thinking movies because many of us understand our universe more so there lacks that mystery. Another problem I believe is with all the flashy cool special effects producers and directors are taking short cuts - ehem... George Lucus & James Cameron.

Just compare the original Star Wars: A New Hope to any of the latest ones. They replaced emotion and creativity with Jar Jar Binks and midichlorians. Now we're being assaulted with mostly terrible movies that try to sell themselves on the latest reinvented technology - 3D. No matter how many Ds you throw at unobtainium... it's still obtainably dumb.

Ranting aside, my latest viewing of  The Last Starfighter gave me a renewed taste for the Sci-Fi of my youth. For kicks, I looked a bunch of them up and thought I'd share. Now, I didn't pick the obvious ones like E.T.

What's your favorite Sci-Fi flick from your childhood and which of these can you remember?

Hanging my chad

Well, it's official. I have cast my vote for our next president along with the many random political offices and amendments we had to search through this year. From private casinos and legal weed to deciding the county vs. city fate of random plots of land, it was a daunting task just to read through all the material and research topics online since I don't always believe the little pamphlets are informative enough to know all the ins and outs of an issue.

I'm not going to use this blog to voice my stance or debate politics, but I did want to highlight how easy it was to vote as a Soldier deployed halfway across the globe. I logged onto a website, filled out some data and whamo - my ballot arrived in just over a week. It was so easy I have to say I am disheartened to know anyone didn't take part. But I also realize that while the process was easy, the decision of who should take/maintain the helm is not always easy.

What is really amazing to think about is the decision I just took part in and where I am. Afghanistan may be the "forgotten war," but I know whoever is our president this next four years will need to focus on how we can successfully transition out. I know there are a *very* different views on America's involvement here, but just like Iraq, we're here now so let's not make rash decisions and leave this country worse than we found it. It's also fascinating to think about our election process and how heated we get, when voting is such a privilege many of us forget or take for granted. When I see countries like Afghanistan and the inconsistency of voting rights as well as some of the fear tactics of the Taliban to discourage free elections, I am truly humbled.

I may not agree with our political two-party system nor feel truly represented, but I will always do my part to ensure my voice is heard.
After all, if I am willing to defend the constitution and our country, I should exercise my voting right... right?
So whether you're a trunk or an ass... may the best man win.

Push-Sit-Run

When you're deployed, you need just about anything to keep you focused and tracking toward heading home. It's usually best if it's something non-work related so you can track your progress without it being directly tied to what could be a mundane cyclical job.

Me running the Hood to Coast from Iraq - 2007

For me, there are three things that get me through this deployment. I call them the 3 "Fs" - Faith, Family, & Fitness. While that probably deserves it's own post - another time - I thought I'd share some of my goals and accomplishments for the Fitness section (hence the title).

My overall goal this year is to max out my physical fitness test for the Army. The Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT) consists of three events; pushups, sit-ups and a 2-mile run. All events are timed and scores are based off a person's age group.

For an idea of what I have to do here are some charts and descriptions brought to you by Kevipedia (and google...).

For a shorter blog, I'll just hit the running section.

At 21 and upon my graduation from my initial Army training, I was running 2 miles in 12 minutes and 45 seconds. This time may be a stretch for me at this juncture in life... but I do hope to meet a goal I had last deployment - 5 in 35. That's 5 miles in 35 minutes. This may be a lofty goal considering I'm at 5,000 feet elevation, breath poopy air and wear super sexy Army shorts.

When I got here, I could barely run 1/2 a mile at an 8 minute pace. I just couldn't get the air in the old wind bags. As of today, I ran 4 miles in 30:20. With a mid-tour goal of 5 miles in 40 minutes, I think I'm on track.

This may seem like a boring post after a lull, but I believe running is especially important if I expect to meet my goal of Desert Gump. I may not be in Forrest Gump running shape but the stakes are higher for me than Forrest. You see, if his life was like a box of chocolates, mine is more like a box of IEDs, mortars and boredom. 

It's time to get running!

Smog of War

This post is probably my best example so far of a "First World Problem in Afghanistan."

For my Oregon friends and family - how often have you heard the Recycle, Reduce, Reuse campaign?
Personally, I'm a big fan of the idea of recycling material, reducing waste and reusing when possible rather than throwing it into a land fill. What works and what doesn't is probably an argument best left to smarter people with cooler blogs.

Right now, I'd rather share my observations from a land as far from Oregon on this topic as I think one could get.

With any conflict involving the military there is bound to be some residual waste or contamination. It's not something I believe anyone sets out to achieve nor is there some incentive program -
"First unit to devastate a region or wreak havoc on Ferngully gets the Skull and Crossbones citation."
Environmental impact is just an unfortunate effect of driving thousands of diesel vehicles into combat. The military actually has programs designed to help mitigate it... but waste exists nonetheless.

Sometimes this program gets in a bit of trouble. Anyone remember the Quran burning incident a while back? Yeah, that was here at Bagram... sorry no postcards for this historic event. I'd like to say things are better, but now we have stupid films and un-Christian pastors putting out messages of hate that unfortunately incite quite a bit of rage. I will say, much of it was probably already there but either way - go team!

Why am I going into all this you may ask? To show the Good, the Bad and mostly the Useless of our recycle, reduce, reuse program here in progressive Afghanistan.

For some background and history, Kabul - just South of where I am stationed - is one of the most polluted areas of the world. Why? Because they still use fire to heat their homes, drive vehicles without EPA fuel emission standards and burn everything trash or waste related. Paper - burn it; tires - burn it; soda cans - burn it; human fecal matter - burn it; etc. That last one really helps me "breath easy." I believe we were told 20% of what we're breathing here is fecal matter. So when someone says it smells like crap, they aren't lying... it smells exactly like crap 20% of the time.

For an idea of what the air is like over here read this article. Or this article from NPR. And here's a fun article on the possibility of nearly 3,000 Afghans dying each year from air pollution. Then there is the effect may be having on U.S. Troops -

Leaked Memo: Afghan ‘Burn Pit’ Could Wreck Troops’ Hearts, Lungs

What better place to look at waste than the dining facility? We all know eating can create a lot of waste. Whether it's leftover food or the plastic or aluminum containers the food came in, there is plenty that gets tossed. But in Oregon, we have recycle bins to help us cope with chucking stuff away. Here in Afghanistan we throw everything away including water bottles and paper. But at the dining facility there are recycle signs everywhere and extra bins to place your water bottles when you are finished. The humorous part to this is the signs are all over the exit - over all the garbage cans that look the same so no one knows which mess to add their mess to.

Then there's the matter of our plasticware. It comes with all three in one bag that you automatically grab with your plate before even knowing what you'll be eating. Who needs a knife for their cereal? If you do, perhaps you should check the expiration date on your box of Apple Jacks. One of our Soldiers pointed out that by putting it all in one bag, inevitably everyone throws something away at some point. Take breakfast - if you only need a spoon then every day you throw a fork and a knife away at breakfast. It adds up quick too. This is a photo of the plasticware I collected during just one month. It's what I would have thrown away due to not needing it. We use a lot of them as stir sticks for coffee.

The main thing I find interesting is I don't believe there is actually a place to recycle plastic or paper here.

So this leaves me with two options:

1. They just burn it in a different incinerator 
2. We are actually paying to ship our garbage out to recycle it.  

Ultimately I wouldn't be surprised if the recycle signs are just to placate us into thinking something is being done to cut down on waste. As my dad joked when I talked to him about this, perhaps the incinerator for recyclable items is blue while the regular trash incinerator is red.
Hopefully they at least have plenty of signs that say "No Qurans."
I do understand that where the U.S. is today is much different than where Afghanistan is or will be once we leave. I just find it crazy to think about how much material we torch each day, let alone how much there must have been in the last decade. I want to say our in-processing brief said Bagram sees 300 tons of trash a year. Yikes!


Perhaps part of the problem is similar to what I see on the way out of the dining facility - improperly marked receptacles. Or properly marked receptacles, but lazy people doing lazy things. Just because there are plenty of options to do the right thing, doesn't mean it will work.


Check this wonderful dumpster out. "Recycling Only" huh... Let's take a closer look inside and see just how well this recycle sign is working. The only thing missing in this picture are Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie trying to escape before some creepy Afghan worm grabs Luke and chokes his non-recycling butt out.

And the ironic icing of all of this is the electric cars sprinkled throughout the base humming quietly along with their environmentally snobby noses sticking defiantly up to the fecal filled sky. But wait, where or where does most of the electricity come from to power these modern marvels? Gas powered generators folks.

Welcome to the bottomless pit of irony I like to refer as the Clean-Green Mirage of the Afghan desert.

Hot Water Burn the Baby

I know I've described the living area over here already, but there's one piece I've left out - the bathroom situation.

When I arrived, I was not expecting heart-shaped tubs by any means... but I also wasn't expecting some of the interesting "thrones" and showers I discovered here at Bagram.
First of all, the showers and toilets are not co-located. They are in separate truck/trailer containers stacked on top of each other. You can tell how luxurious it's going to be long before flippy flopping into the double-high (rather than double wide) trailer contraption we do our most private of private business in.


Allow me to take you on a 4-star tour of our showers.
First, you must understand that above all things, the military must be efficient and thoughtless in its construction of living/hygiene areas - save maybe the Air Force whose accommodations are more similar to college dormitories than actual barracks.

The upper deck shower facilities is "blessed" with wooden plank floors - that I'm sure repel all fungi, bacteria and other delightful moist treats. It houses six showers, 12 cubbies and four sinks. My guess on why those numbers range so much is that the architect is also responsible for the mismatched hot dog to bun ratio we've all pondered at some point.

The showers themselves aren't too bad. Most of them have weaker water pressure than I prefer... but otherwise not too bad considering where I am. The temperature varies depending on the time of day and how many people have gone through to drain the hot water. It's still in the upper 90s so even if the hot water is gone, it isn't the end of the world... just a quicker shower. Ask me again about this in December though. I personally have found the one shower that meets my pressure needs and will actually vary my patterns - i.e. shave before shower or after shower - to ensure I get the shower I want. There are few things I actually need to get going in the day. A hot / well-pressured shower is one of those.

Moving on from the showers, I bring you to our bathroom areas. Frankly, they get the job done but tell me - does this or does it not look like it's straight out of the Saw horror film series. Every time I go in I expect to see someone chained up to the pipes with a voice recorder, blade of some sort or a ridiculously painful looking torture helmet on. Luckily so far that has not happened.

Now what bathroom tour would be complete without a peek at the "throne?" I took a photo of this one because it's different. Take a look and see if you can tell what's wrong with this picture? I'll give you a hint, look where the items you would want to get rid of are sent on their way. Yep, the drain/water splashdown zone is at the front of the bowl. Now use your imaginations and knowledge of the human body and envision how waste is disposed of. Where. pray tell, do you suppose your undesirables land and how do you think this will play out? Soft serve anyone? Well, being that I've had the lovely experience of using these poorly constructed devices I will fill you in.

     Here are the steps for using the backward bowls:

1.  Inspect thoroughly for debris or leftovers from the previous user.
2.  Carefully lay a strip of toilet paper from the back of the bowl leading to the "pool" at the bottom. - This is your "runway."
3.  Do your business as quickly as possible to make the experience as brief as humanly possible.
4.  Flush at least 10 times to finally dispose of what amazingly looked worse in the cafeteria.
5. In the case of poop lasagna, run away.

I won't go into further details on this, but perhaps knowing what this is like will give new perspective on my post about being sick.

Now to be fair, there are other options. I like to use the charming outhouse to the right every so often to mix things up - *not for claustrophobics*. It also has one of the few trees on base next to it, which is a nice visual reminder of my beautiful tree-laden home in the Emerald Valley. The downside is there are several heavy smokers who enjoy puffing away while they utilize this closet-crapper. The contractors who drain these, generally hit them up around dinner time, which makes for an amazing aroma. We call it "Blue Angel" due to the blue chemicals used and the angelic cloud of doom that emerges. I will say that no matter what the situation, it is - in most ways - much better than having to bring a shovel and search for privacy.

To wrap this up, I have one final piece of insight on our little tour of these masterful double-decker shower/bathroom power houses. All of the signs inside say the water is non-potable. This means it isn't treated for consumption. It is advised to not brush your teeth in the sink using the water from the faucet. Who makes a bathroom that has running poisonous water? I'm not sure what can happen, but I'll let you know. Being the daredevil I am, I'm willing to live life on the edge and have been brushing my teeth with the bathroom water since we got here. No beaver fever yet, but then again I'm just getting started.

So there you have it. All the dirty details of our bathroom situation. There may not be towels with your initials embroidered, cylinders with blue liquid and a comb, or triple-ply Downy - but it has all the charm you'd expect from a contractor/military operation in the middle of a desert. 

Heart of Darkness

Many of my friends and family know that following my last tour I came home with frustration and anger, which was too often miss-directed. So far I'm doing great - much of which I attribute to the many unknowns and knowns who are praying for me. I'm also working and praying toward giving up all the things I don't have control over and not stressing more than necessary the things I do have control over. Someone once said holding anger or spite toward someone is like holding a grenade against your chest - eventually it's going to go off and most likely it will have collateral damage on people within proximity who may or may not have had anything to do with your anger to begin with.

All that said, I also see a lot of similarities between Veterans who return home to a sometimes thankless nation or community and have animosity toward those around them they feel aren't supporting them nor doing "their part" for the country. I've also experienced and heard a lot of the same complaints about people back home being too focused and obsessed with issues that seem insignificant after one has been to a combat zone where people die. All of this is actually part of what inspired the title of this blog. My complaints here on Bagram truly pale in comparison to the living conditions and life and death issues experienced by the Afghans living just outside the wire. A perfect example is when our translator didn't come in today I immediately wondered if something had happened to him on his way to work. How many of us wonder if a missing coworker has been killed rather than if they are just having a sick day or are playing hooky?



Anyway... one of my goals this deployment is to read books. I am anything but a reader normally so it's actually more of a challenge than a goal. My book right now is Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. It's the book that inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. It's masterfully written and has some passages that are very relatable while I'm deployed. I'm about to finish it and saw this passage that made me think of Veterans everywhere who have returned from their own heart of darkness.

"I found myself back in the sepulchral city resenting the sight of people hurrying through the streets to filch a little money from each other, to devour their infamous cookery, to gulp their unwholesome beer, to dream their insignificant and silly dreams. They trespassed upon my thoughts. They were intruders whose knowledge of life was to me an irritating pretense, because I felt so sure they could not possible know the things I knew.

"Their bearing, which was simply the bearing of commonplace individuals doing about their business in the assurance of perfect safety, was offensive to me like the outrageous flauntings of folly in the face of a danger it is unable to comprehend."

I don't write this to offend those who've not served or deployed, but rather to give insight into the bitterness, anger and frustration that all-too-often plagues our Veterans as they redeploy home. I've heard myself say things that would've offended me prior to deploying. My only advice for Veterans and their friends and family is this - have grace, patience and love knowing we all need time to adjust and accept that we all have different experiences. After all, the deployed Veteran isn't the only one that served that year. Lord knows Andrea is serving her own deployment as a single parent and will deserve just as much adjustment, grace, patience and love when I return.

*By the way - if you haven't read this novel I HIGHLY recommend it.

Number 18: Squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck

I dedicate this one to my week of bad luck/health.

*Bonus points to those who know where the title came from without looking it up.*

Have you ever been sick or injured in a place far from the comforts of home? It sucks. I still remember the first time I got sick in college while living in the dorms. I had been living on that "freedom from the parents" high for a few months and then the dorm germs got me. It wiped me out physically, and emotionally I suddenly was incredibly homesick. All I wanted was to curl up on my parents couch and have some chicken noodle soup. But instead I laid around on my twin bed dreading the fact I had to go the the cafeteria to get my food.

This memory came back to me this week. It's not my parents couch I long for now but my own couch and home.

Last week I tried my hand at that Insanity class. Insane is an understatement. This 40 minute workout would kick my butt if I were in Oregon, but here at 5-thousand feet, forget about it. 15 minutes in I was dripping with sweat, leaning against the wall, and wishing someone had an oxygen tank for me so I wouldn't die at 33. Imagine pushing yourself to the extreme (sprint speed) and only being able to take half breaths. My worst enemy was myself, as my pride kept telling me that "Yes this is hard, but you could totally keep up back home." Well, there's a reason God hates pride... because pride hates us and causes us to be complete idiots, forsaking all common sense and wisdom. Either way, my pride pushed me too far and jump started what I believe was a 24-hour flu waiting in the shadows. You see, pride doesn't just hate me, but my stomach full of lunch hated me for listening to my pride. In this case the enemy of my enemy was certainly *not* my friend. I won't go into all the gory details of the next few hours, but let me just say God helped me overcome my pride in and put me in a "kneeling" posture. I think the worst part was trying to figure out where and how to relieve the angry beast in the depths of my stomach. Anyone whose been sick to their stomach knows it's not something you want others to watch you doing... and you have to be selective about the receptacle you use.
I had two options for restrooms. A porta-potty or an "indoor" bathroom. Here's what the "indoor" bathroom looks like. Neither were going to work and the whole time I was wishing I could be at home feeling icky. The winning decision ended up being a trash can. So there I was curled up doing a contorted bow to the trash can in-between two air conditioning units along side our office building. It was dusty, loud, and my knees hurt from the gravel, but it was the most privacy I could find. The one thing I found comforting in all of this was praying for it all to just end. Have you ever been at that point? That feeling of complete humility and disparity mixing into a perfect revelation that you aren't in control?

Putting aside the disturbing images or perhaps laughs at my expense you just experienced, there's one thing I discovered during this ordeal. Even though I could hardly walk, think or function in general - one thing was crystal clear - I prayed to God and I felt comfort from it. My desire to be in the comfort of my home even slipped away and was replace with my pleadings to make it all end. I found that my true home, where all sickness and injury find reprieve, is with God and nothing makes that clearer than a good dose of illness. It's in our darkest; hardest trials that we learn to focus and depend on something greater than ourselves.

So next time you squeeze and pull and hurt your neck - know that is a time to focus and grow.

oh yeah... I am now on day two of a cold, so I guess I didn't focus enough.

War Incorporated...

One big similarity between Afghanistan and Iraq is the number of former military jobs and roles that have been contracted out. There is so much money and corporate reliance on us being at war, it would be hard not to become a Fox Mulder conspiracy theorist about whose interests we're serving over here. The base I am currently at is 60% contractor. Every day I write down a new contract company to look up and see what their deal is.

Here's a list:
> Fluor
> Exelis
> Triple Canopy
> MPRI
> AC First Defense
> Ecolog International

Fluor is the most prominent here. They run our billeting and dining facilities (DFAC). The really interesting thing is comparing the quality of work and the wage from when it was military run to now. First, the quality isn't that much different... however, when it was military run, you could do something about it. There was a chain of command and someone to talk to about any issues you have. Now, there are comment cards that are reviewed and taken into account about as much as any other company's comment cards. Next is the wage. Here's a list of wages for the military (made public as they are tax paid). This is just the wage. To see the total amount you can enter any rank into this calculator to get an estimate of what a service member would be making once the combat pay and housing allowance type benefits are added in. For a typical Army Specialist with 4 years of service deployed to Afghanistan to serve food in the DFAC the annual income would be around $36,000. The least we've been told a contractor over here makes is $80,000. Some troops in my unit met one contractor the other day who makes $700 a day - $235,000 a year. There isn't a single military pay grade that makes that much. This is for U.S. citizen contractors. For all I know, those from 3rd world nations are making much much less.

This probably isn't news to everyone, but it bothers me on two levels.

One - These jobs are paid for by our tax dollars. Sure it's an international effort, but since when has the U.S. had an equal share rather than the heavier burden? This is *not* cost saving or the most fiscally responsible method to conduct war or to develop infrastructure. I believe contracting is effective when used on small-scale operations or short-term conflicts because it avoids keeping someone on the books for 20 years and then paying for their retirement and health care. But when a war goes for more than a decade, those savings turn into a vacuum of billions upon billions of dollars. The math doesn't add up, not to mention the paperwork and redundant hoops we have to jump through that are only in place to create a metrix of data to support the contracts we've signed with these companies. We have to check in with our lodging office every month so they know we're still here. Our vehicles have to be re-dispatched every other week.

Two - With the economy and job rate in the U.S. currently circling the toilet bowl, why oh why are we paying to replace American Military jobs with companies who predominantly hire people from Albania, Congo, or any other U-Pick-a-Stan? I'd really like to find out whose cousin's brother's daughter's husband is in a our government contracting office and approves these deals. I wouldn't be surprised if they're all subsidiaries of the same top CEO. Perhaps Enron trying to recover lost ground? Ultimately it's not a Right vs. Left issue since it's been going on throughout multiple administrations. It's a money issue. And unfortunately we're the ones drawing the short straw *and* getting stuck with the bill.

One last note... if you've been reading the news and hearing about a draw down... 

'Tide has turned' in Taliban zone amid U.S. troop drawdown

consider this conspiracy theory - sure we're pulling U.S. troops out, but the contractors we're paying for are flocking in by the "Benjamin Franklins." It's all about delivering a message effectively. No one is lying when they say we're reducing the number of U.S. Armed Forces in Afghanistan.

Bottom line - I know we have fully capable and willing Soldiers, Airmen, Marines, and Seamen to do the jobs over here, and do them well.

Operation - POS to Palace

*Disclaimer - I should mention that I am thankful for a shelter and the ability to build it up, considering the living conditions off base. This of course is where my blog theme comes from. Also, keep in mind that there isn't a sarcasm font.

My first welcoming to my new home for a year was just that - my new home for the next year. To say it is "lacking" that home feel would be giving it more credit than I believe it is due. We live in barracks huts, or as the locals call them - B-Huts.

These shanty shacks are long plywood buildings with rusty metal roofs placed in rows in the middle of a gravel lot.

When you step inside, you're welcomed by a near-pitch-black hallway with no light at the end (somewhat symbolic).

Typically, the B-Huts are divided into 8 rooms separated by more plywood with makeshift plywood panels on hinges acting as doors. To secure the "doors," we have a latch and lock. The only air conditioning units are above the doors at either end of the hallway with the tops of each room's walls cut away to allow for airflow. The beauty of this is I can hear and smell my neighbor - which is why I have an air freshener and use a fan at times for white noise. The hallway has lights, but due to the fact that they cut into each room about 3 inches, no one turns them on to avoid annoying their neighbors. I should probably mention that they don't segregate the B-Huts by day and night sleepers so there are only a select few hours a day that you can make any noise.

I realize I already posted a video of my room, but I'm shooting for a TLC or HGTV style tour of my B-Hut, so here's some photos to help break down the different areas of my little piece of heaven. First, my room is 7 by 7 feet with a sloping ceiling that is 10 feet high at the apex. The light in my room is a clip-on light that uses a dial to turn it on, so no light switch. This means I get to trip over the chair and blindly fumble for the light.

 Ahhh - where all the "magic" happens... By magic, I mean where I pass out every night. You may notice they don't turn the sheets down here or put a mint on my pillow. I wisely put my sheets and blankets in my foot locker, which is still sitting in Delaware with the empty promise that it will "head out on the next plane" - a promise we've heard for nearly a week now.

Here is what the wall above my bed looks like. That wavy mess is the sheet barrier that separates my neighbors room from mine. I never thought I'd sleep with a sheet between me and another man... hopefully my neighbor doesn't buy into the "what happens in Afghanistan stays in Afghanistan" theology. To fix this, I'm thinking about cutting more of the sweet plywood material to block up the rest of the wall so I can comfortably raise my bed up to 5 feet and move that annoying chair and desk underneath as well as all the other items that litter my room thus clearing enough space to begin training toward my goal of being the next World Break Dancing Champion. The only potential problem is that blocking off the wall might interrupt my neighbors airflow from the AC and cause some strife.

 Next is the entry to my castle. I already took the door off the wall and remounted it to swing into the hallway since that added quite a bit of space to my room. My next project over here is to add a shelf above the door next to the cut-out next to the air conditioner so I can put a fan up there and hopefully shoot more of the cold air into my room. Once I'm done with that, I plan to run an extension cord along the wall and over my door to create a closer outlet with a switch so I can eventually mount lights and turn them on and off. You may also notice the white boxes on the wall. Those are the wireless routers for the area. Monthly cost is $90 and while I have no intention of paying that much for shotty Internet, it is running off the power of one of my only two outlets. My thought on this is to charge my 7 neighbors $10 per month rent for my power outlet. It's kind of like that really successful food for oil program.

I'm not sure I can pull this off given my lack of carpentry knowledge or skills and the fact that I have to scavenge for tools, material and work during the limited hours of authorized noise. Wish me luck and pray my tetanus shots are up to date as I bring my hut from a POS to a local Palace. What could ever go wrong?

And now...  I leave you with a beauty shot of our local boardwalk.