Smog of War

This post is probably my best example so far of a "First World Problem in Afghanistan."

For my Oregon friends and family - how often have you heard the Recycle, Reduce, Reuse campaign?
Personally, I'm a big fan of the idea of recycling material, reducing waste and reusing when possible rather than throwing it into a land fill. What works and what doesn't is probably an argument best left to smarter people with cooler blogs.

Right now, I'd rather share my observations from a land as far from Oregon on this topic as I think one could get.

With any conflict involving the military there is bound to be some residual waste or contamination. It's not something I believe anyone sets out to achieve nor is there some incentive program -
"First unit to devastate a region or wreak havoc on Ferngully gets the Skull and Crossbones citation."
Environmental impact is just an unfortunate effect of driving thousands of diesel vehicles into combat. The military actually has programs designed to help mitigate it... but waste exists nonetheless.

Sometimes this program gets in a bit of trouble. Anyone remember the Quran burning incident a while back? Yeah, that was here at Bagram... sorry no postcards for this historic event. I'd like to say things are better, but now we have stupid films and un-Christian pastors putting out messages of hate that unfortunately incite quite a bit of rage. I will say, much of it was probably already there but either way - go team!

Why am I going into all this you may ask? To show the Good, the Bad and mostly the Useless of our recycle, reduce, reuse program here in progressive Afghanistan.

For some background and history, Kabul - just South of where I am stationed - is one of the most polluted areas of the world. Why? Because they still use fire to heat their homes, drive vehicles without EPA fuel emission standards and burn everything trash or waste related. Paper - burn it; tires - burn it; soda cans - burn it; human fecal matter - burn it; etc. That last one really helps me "breath easy." I believe we were told 20% of what we're breathing here is fecal matter. So when someone says it smells like crap, they aren't lying... it smells exactly like crap 20% of the time.

For an idea of what the air is like over here read this article. Or this article from NPR. And here's a fun article on the possibility of nearly 3,000 Afghans dying each year from air pollution. Then there is the effect may be having on U.S. Troops -

Leaked Memo: Afghan ‘Burn Pit’ Could Wreck Troops’ Hearts, Lungs

What better place to look at waste than the dining facility? We all know eating can create a lot of waste. Whether it's leftover food or the plastic or aluminum containers the food came in, there is plenty that gets tossed. But in Oregon, we have recycle bins to help us cope with chucking stuff away. Here in Afghanistan we throw everything away including water bottles and paper. But at the dining facility there are recycle signs everywhere and extra bins to place your water bottles when you are finished. The humorous part to this is the signs are all over the exit - over all the garbage cans that look the same so no one knows which mess to add their mess to.

Then there's the matter of our plasticware. It comes with all three in one bag that you automatically grab with your plate before even knowing what you'll be eating. Who needs a knife for their cereal? If you do, perhaps you should check the expiration date on your box of Apple Jacks. One of our Soldiers pointed out that by putting it all in one bag, inevitably everyone throws something away at some point. Take breakfast - if you only need a spoon then every day you throw a fork and a knife away at breakfast. It adds up quick too. This is a photo of the plasticware I collected during just one month. It's what I would have thrown away due to not needing it. We use a lot of them as stir sticks for coffee.

The main thing I find interesting is I don't believe there is actually a place to recycle plastic or paper here.

So this leaves me with two options:

1. They just burn it in a different incinerator 
2. We are actually paying to ship our garbage out to recycle it.  

Ultimately I wouldn't be surprised if the recycle signs are just to placate us into thinking something is being done to cut down on waste. As my dad joked when I talked to him about this, perhaps the incinerator for recyclable items is blue while the regular trash incinerator is red.
Hopefully they at least have plenty of signs that say "No Qurans."
I do understand that where the U.S. is today is much different than where Afghanistan is or will be once we leave. I just find it crazy to think about how much material we torch each day, let alone how much there must have been in the last decade. I want to say our in-processing brief said Bagram sees 300 tons of trash a year. Yikes!


Perhaps part of the problem is similar to what I see on the way out of the dining facility - improperly marked receptacles. Or properly marked receptacles, but lazy people doing lazy things. Just because there are plenty of options to do the right thing, doesn't mean it will work.


Check this wonderful dumpster out. "Recycling Only" huh... Let's take a closer look inside and see just how well this recycle sign is working. The only thing missing in this picture are Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie trying to escape before some creepy Afghan worm grabs Luke and chokes his non-recycling butt out.

And the ironic icing of all of this is the electric cars sprinkled throughout the base humming quietly along with their environmentally snobby noses sticking defiantly up to the fecal filled sky. But wait, where or where does most of the electricity come from to power these modern marvels? Gas powered generators folks.

Welcome to the bottomless pit of irony I like to refer as the Clean-Green Mirage of the Afghan desert.

Hot Water Burn the Baby

I know I've described the living area over here already, but there's one piece I've left out - the bathroom situation.

When I arrived, I was not expecting heart-shaped tubs by any means... but I also wasn't expecting some of the interesting "thrones" and showers I discovered here at Bagram.
First of all, the showers and toilets are not co-located. They are in separate truck/trailer containers stacked on top of each other. You can tell how luxurious it's going to be long before flippy flopping into the double-high (rather than double wide) trailer contraption we do our most private of private business in.


Allow me to take you on a 4-star tour of our showers.
First, you must understand that above all things, the military must be efficient and thoughtless in its construction of living/hygiene areas - save maybe the Air Force whose accommodations are more similar to college dormitories than actual barracks.

The upper deck shower facilities is "blessed" with wooden plank floors - that I'm sure repel all fungi, bacteria and other delightful moist treats. It houses six showers, 12 cubbies and four sinks. My guess on why those numbers range so much is that the architect is also responsible for the mismatched hot dog to bun ratio we've all pondered at some point.

The showers themselves aren't too bad. Most of them have weaker water pressure than I prefer... but otherwise not too bad considering where I am. The temperature varies depending on the time of day and how many people have gone through to drain the hot water. It's still in the upper 90s so even if the hot water is gone, it isn't the end of the world... just a quicker shower. Ask me again about this in December though. I personally have found the one shower that meets my pressure needs and will actually vary my patterns - i.e. shave before shower or after shower - to ensure I get the shower I want. There are few things I actually need to get going in the day. A hot / well-pressured shower is one of those.

Moving on from the showers, I bring you to our bathroom areas. Frankly, they get the job done but tell me - does this or does it not look like it's straight out of the Saw horror film series. Every time I go in I expect to see someone chained up to the pipes with a voice recorder, blade of some sort or a ridiculously painful looking torture helmet on. Luckily so far that has not happened.

Now what bathroom tour would be complete without a peek at the "throne?" I took a photo of this one because it's different. Take a look and see if you can tell what's wrong with this picture? I'll give you a hint, look where the items you would want to get rid of are sent on their way. Yep, the drain/water splashdown zone is at the front of the bowl. Now use your imaginations and knowledge of the human body and envision how waste is disposed of. Where. pray tell, do you suppose your undesirables land and how do you think this will play out? Soft serve anyone? Well, being that I've had the lovely experience of using these poorly constructed devices I will fill you in.

     Here are the steps for using the backward bowls:

1.  Inspect thoroughly for debris or leftovers from the previous user.
2.  Carefully lay a strip of toilet paper from the back of the bowl leading to the "pool" at the bottom. - This is your "runway."
3.  Do your business as quickly as possible to make the experience as brief as humanly possible.
4.  Flush at least 10 times to finally dispose of what amazingly looked worse in the cafeteria.
5. In the case of poop lasagna, run away.

I won't go into further details on this, but perhaps knowing what this is like will give new perspective on my post about being sick.

Now to be fair, there are other options. I like to use the charming outhouse to the right every so often to mix things up - *not for claustrophobics*. It also has one of the few trees on base next to it, which is a nice visual reminder of my beautiful tree-laden home in the Emerald Valley. The downside is there are several heavy smokers who enjoy puffing away while they utilize this closet-crapper. The contractors who drain these, generally hit them up around dinner time, which makes for an amazing aroma. We call it "Blue Angel" due to the blue chemicals used and the angelic cloud of doom that emerges. I will say that no matter what the situation, it is - in most ways - much better than having to bring a shovel and search for privacy.

To wrap this up, I have one final piece of insight on our little tour of these masterful double-decker shower/bathroom power houses. All of the signs inside say the water is non-potable. This means it isn't treated for consumption. It is advised to not brush your teeth in the sink using the water from the faucet. Who makes a bathroom that has running poisonous water? I'm not sure what can happen, but I'll let you know. Being the daredevil I am, I'm willing to live life on the edge and have been brushing my teeth with the bathroom water since we got here. No beaver fever yet, but then again I'm just getting started.

So there you have it. All the dirty details of our bathroom situation. There may not be towels with your initials embroidered, cylinders with blue liquid and a comb, or triple-ply Downy - but it has all the charm you'd expect from a contractor/military operation in the middle of a desert.